Welcome back, my fellow addicts!
I don’t have 12 easy steps for you to overcome your cardboard-crack habit, but here are the questions I scrounged from my twitter feed and e-mail account for this week.
What do you think of the current standard format?
First and foremost, we must give a hearty “thank you!” to Brian Kibler for dropping his trousers and thoroughly teabagging Type 2 with hawks and swords and a freakin’ telekinetic blacksmith. It may not be solely his fault, but this is America, dammit, and we have to blame someone. So Mr. Kibler, feel free to crotch kick yourself.
Now, after months of gagging on this stale format, Wizards of the Coast equipped the Ban Hammer, for two red mana, go figure, and swung it down on [Card]Jace, the Mind Sculptor[/Card] and [Card]Stoneforge Mystic[/Card]. But you know what the worst part is? Jace will not shut the hell up, seriously he’s been keeping me and [Card]Chandra Ablaze[/Card] up all night with his drunk dialing and whining how no one loves him. What a putz! Oh and ladies, don’t worry, its not serious between me and Chandra. Just don’t tell her that.
Now that the Ban Hammer has been swung what can we expect?
I don’t know, as I quit to go play Commander but I guarantee you this, it’ll be open season for rogue deckbuilders, and this gives Conley wood from half a state away. If I had to predict, I see the mountains coming back with Valakut. So, how do we fight this? Soul Sisters 2.0, of course. The way it works is you play jank that protects your infinite life thing to give the F U to Valakut and then win by hard casting [card]Emrakul, the Aeon’s Torn[/card] for 15 mana. And you thought Caw mirrors were long!
Please do not play [Card]Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas[/Card]. All day long all he can talk about are his cups and [Card]Darksteel Relic[/Card]. Oh yeah that was his idea.
[card]Vengevine[/card] still has its dedicated fans. [card]Birthing Pod[/card] and [card]Shrine of Burning Rage[/card] seem to have deck-defining potential. [card]Consecrated Sphinx[/card], [card]Precursor Golem[/card], and [card]Grand Architect[/card] can make up the core of a new standard. All the creatures in this format will get the chance to break out and create new decks, once the Titans rotate out of standard.
Hold up my editor is saying something…
Blah, Blah, Blah, Wife and Kids, Blah, Blah…
Wait a minute…
Video game nonsense…
Something about leading up to…
Promo cards with game…
Need to give out stuff that is standard playable…
[Card]Wild Nacatl[/Card] and [Card]Spellstutter Sprite[/Card] the exception…
Confirmed by well placed sources…
No name for well placed sources…
Somehow doesn’t seem sketchy…
Motherf*cker!
Good news folks, we’re in for another year of creatures not passing the Titan test, though I good and guarantee that bitach [Card]Primeval Titan[/Card] will get its come-uppance and drop in value when [Card]Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle[/Card] rotates.
Wait a minute…
Valakut confirmed reprint in M12…
No I’m just kidding. And to be certain of this I just sent [Card]Sarkhan Vol[/Card] to Wizards to ensure that does not happen. He’s quite effective at what he does, just don’t ask him “you mad bro?” as that always makes him rage.
Are you purchasing any of the Commander decks?
I’ve preordered 10 copies of each deck. Suck it Medina! Actually Jon, to be nice, if you want, I can trade you one copy of each deck for eight [Card]Black Lotus[/Card]es. Who is the best trader now? Johnny McPlaneswalker is the best trader now. Suck it!
As for the deck that most excites me, that would be the Heavenly Inferno deck. [Card]Kaalia of the Vast[/Card] is a fantastic card in every way. Combining dragons, angels, and demons on a card is like serving me chocolate-covered bacon on Minka Kelly’s naked thighs. It’s just going to please me in ways I’m probably not prepared for.
EDH is my favorite form of magic. It’s unrefined, objectively powerful, and customizable. If I want to play a deck that does nothing but copy spells, redirect targets, and has my opponent threatening to make my wife a widow, I can, and it’ll probably be competitive. It was only a matter of time before Wizards found a way to capitalize on the format.
Fortunately, they seem to be doing a fantastic job with Commander. And, if this set sells well, there are so many different ways Wizards could grow the format. This looks to be Wizards best “side project” since the original Unglued, if only they could make the lands in these Commander decks look as nice as those.
Do you think we’ll ever see [Card]Counterspell[/Card] in standard again?
Let me ask you a question, did you like getting teabagged by Kibler so much the first time that you’re gearing up for Round 2?
That being said, I hope so, as I firmly believe that Islands go hand-in-hand with blatant douchebaggery. Mana Leak has been the “building block counterspell” for a while now, and I hate it. I loathe it. It makes me want to tie [Card]Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir[/Card] up in a burlap sack and drop him in the river, I mean seriously, Phasing? What kind of lame ass idea was that?
Anyways, I’ve seen too many games where my opponent drops a [card]Noble Heirarch[/card] or casts an [card]Inquisition of Kozilek[/card] turn one, only to have counterspell capabilities on turn two. Dropping a threat and then hiding (like a little bitch) behind counter magic has become entirely too easy.
I understand that [card]Counterspell[/card] is more powerful than [card]Mana Leak[/card] in the late game, but the splashability of [card]Mana Leak[/card] makes it twice as powerful as [card]Counterspell[/card] in the early game. The importance of turn 1-3 has risen dramatically since [card]Counterspell[/card] was removed from the core set, and [card]Mana Leak[/card] has made it too easy for control decks to run three or more colors. Blue mages get to have their cake and eat it too, while pissing in everyone else’s face from across the room.
With the color fixing available, and the easily splashed counterspells at their disposal, control decks can pick and choose their threats from any color. And, they can then run disruption/removal from another color if need be.
Come on Wizards, make it difficult for control players. If you won’t ban Islands, how about you consider a UU Mana Leak variant for the Core set?
What are some of your favorite MTG comics/podcasts?
“Durdling Around” by David Lee.
Never heard of it?
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seriously now, stop kidding around and go check it out. You’re missing out on some serious funny. The comic is consistently great, and Derfington’s art style fits the Planeswalkers well. Seriously, it’s the best MTG comic on the web. Though if it doesn’t feature a certain Planeswalker soon, there may be an unpleasant visit from a certain someone. Just so that you are aware Dave.
As for Podcasts, I don’t really have time to listen to podcasts. Why? Because I’m out helping save worlds, like seriously what have you done with your life recently? When I do listen I make sure to check out The Eh Team. It’s always good for a laugh when Smitty tries to propose some terrible deck. [Card]Chancellor of the Tangle[/Card] and [Card]Fauna Shaman[/Card], come on Smitty I expect better than that. Asides from that, the recording sessions seem like a blast. The team has the best chemistry of any of the current podcast offerings and the crew always sound like their old drinking buddies, ready to have a brew with you. Speaking of which Johnny here has a 2-4 of Molson if you guys ever want to include him, I’m your biggest fan!!! <3 <3!!!
Aside for that one, In Contention is an all-around solid podcast, offering good insight into the game and the tourney scene. Monday Night Magic was the first podcast I listened to, and it’s still one of the best.
Johnny, if you were a flower, what flower would you be?
I’m going to answer that with a question.
If you were dead, what kind of dead would you be?
Some General Thoughts
If you want to play black mono black control put some [Card]Plains[/Card] in the deck, only then will it be good.
Sideboard out Jace against red decks, he does less than a Popsicle in a freezer.
Why hasn’t anyone been brewing with Tezzeret in green? It seems only natural.
Stop starting submitted articles with “KYT made me write this article” and take some pride in your initiative to contribute to the community, also it annoys KYT.
If you only win drafts where you open bombs, you’re not a skilled drafter, you’re a luck sack.
Is it possible to create a good Chandra Planeswalker, or would that act bring an end to the world? Quick check when that Pastor said the world was going to end and see if it falls on the same day as a release event.
And last, if a tree falls in the forest and is used to create Magic cards, should that tree’s trademark appear next to Hasbro’s on Magic cards?
That’s it for this weeks column.
Help a planeswalker out. Send me questions, comments, and insane ramblings!
Submit your questions to Johnny McPlaneswalker: mcplaneswalker @gmail.com or to @mcplaneswalker on Twitter.